Losing My Brother
This poem is written for the photo prompt at Describli.
Before you start reading the poem, I’d like to say that I’m no poet. I just write whatever comes to my mind and whenever it does.
I hope you’ll like this poem as it is really very close to my heart.
Losing My Brother
I could hear their marching feet,
The unyielding boots on the harsh cold ground,
The chilling winds carrying their beastly sounds.
*
I wanted to run away and hide, or better yet fly,
But I froze on the cursed land… Why, oh why?
*
They came towards me, weapons of destruction in their hands,
The mud getting loose under their heavy weight.
*
The small babe, that was my brother, gave a loud cry,
squirming and crying under the torn-up cloth in my hand.
*
They came forward and shoved me hard on the ground,
Making my brother fall on the damned dirt of this ruined land,
They snatched him from my hands and took him away from me.
*
I can see him crying and twitching to be near me,
To be wrapped in the warmth of my love and care.
But they didn’t have an ear for us, as they turned their pathetic backs on me
And off they went.
His sorrowful wailing cries tearing at my heart and soul.
*
I lied there waiting for a miracle to happen
but, sadly, there was none…
HEENA R. PARDESHI 
A sad and helpless poem, Heena. A harsh separation that children shouldn’t have to endure. 😦
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Thanks for reading. I’m glad the emotions behind this poem are delivered the way they were supposed to 🙂
And yes, I agree they shouldn’t have to endure, but the sad truth is that they are made to endure it by some people. Harsh reality I guess.
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You say you’re no poet. You should be. I would gladly read more of your poems.
Does that not tell you something? 🙂
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Thanks a ton! I’m really stoked that you feel that way 🙂
I hope you’ll enjoy the other poems as well.
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this is such sad, deep poem. Very painful separation, I have no words!
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Thanks, Mihran. I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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This just amazes me, it’s so good. Biggest hugs now.
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Awww… Thanks a lot, Elizabeth 🙂 You are so sweet.
BTW are you participating in NaNo?
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You’re welcome! I am participating in NaNo, are you? ❤
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That’s great! Yep, me too. My username is Heena Rathore P., lets buddy up there 😀
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Absolutely! Mine is Elizabeth5713. 🙂
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I just added you. 🙂
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Yay! I also added you 🙂
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Reblogged this on The Travelling Hub.
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Thanks a lot for the reblog, love! ❤
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Such an unfortunate separation. That’s an emotional poem Heena.
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Thanks for reading it, Norma. And indeed it’s an unfortunate separation.
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Your poem is lovely as it speaks of a harsh reality. It is deeply sad, and so emotional. Big hugs.
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Thanks a lot for taking the time to read it, Michelle.
Big hugs to you too 🙂
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Oh wow, this is so sad and heart-ripping. Is there any truth to this, or is it completely fiction?
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I’m glad that you felt that way, Staci. And nope, it’s pure fiction (thankfully!) 🙂
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Good job! 🙂
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This is so powerful and beautifully written Heena. You gave me chills!
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Thanks a lot, Kim. I’m glad that it successfully delivered all the intended emotions 🙂
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You’ve created a heart-rending image here. I had a visual in my mind while reading, and I could feel the desperation and pain. Well done. 🙂
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Thanks a lot, Phoenix. I’m really glad you liked it and that the poem delivered all the gut-wrenching emotions (i guess I have a unique talent for dark stuff 😉 )
BTW, I read your feedbacks on Describli and will be spending this Sunday afternoon editing my pieces as per your and a few other’s feedback. So, once again, thanks 😀
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No problem. I enjoyed reading your stories. Are you going to post the new versions anywhere?
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Yep, I’m planning to complete Jessie and Bianca Brown’s series this month (and will count them for NaNo as I’ll be focusing on short stories.) 🙂
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Sounds like a good idea. 🙂 I hope I get to read the finished versions someday.
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Thanks, Phoenix. Guess I’ll be finishing them by the end of this year. I’m actually planning to try my hand at self-publishing. But not with Deceived, because it’s a full on commercial thing. But maybe Jessie or Bianca series. Can’t hurt to be a self-published author 🙂
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It can’t hurt at all. Self-publishing is a route I’m seriously thinking about. I’m still a bit unsure, but I think it’s nice to have the best of both worlds, if you can. I wish you all the best with all your projects. 🙂
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I agree with each and every word you just said!
Thanks a lot, dear. Same to you 🙂
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From this day forward you should consider yourself a poet; your work was an emotionally powerful piece which spoke to my inner humanity. I can’t imagine anyone reading your poem, who has any semblance of a heart or conscious, and not wanting to be able to help you at your time of need.
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Thanks a lot for you kind words, Robbin. I’m so glad that you felt that way.
Thanks for reading 🙂
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My pleasure.
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Sad and full of raw emotions Heena… Your words paint a picture of the pain within uncovered for our eyes to see… Thanks for sharing this.
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Thanks a lot, Tony, for your kind words 🙂
I’m really glad that you liked my poem!
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Emotional and sad, a powerful poem.
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Thanks a lot, Lauren.
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Powerful, my friend. I am so sorry for your loss. xxx
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Thanks a lot, Raphaela. Fortunately for me, it’s a work of pure fiction 🙂
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We are not poets; but this is touching and powerful! 🙂
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Thanks a lot, Teny! 🙂
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I’m not a confident poet either but I think you did really well, there are a couple of Halloween poetry WordPress competitions I was considering having a go at but not sure if I have the courage!
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Thanks a ton, Marje. I’m really low in confidence when I write a poem, but after reading comments such as your’s boosts my confidence a lot 🙂
I’m planning to write more poetry from now on. I hope you’ll also consider writing more poems publicly because I’m sure you will do great ❤
Thanks for taking the time to read this poem, dear.
Have a great day!
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Thank you Heena, it’s wonderful to encourage each other to have a go, like you I lack confidence with poetry. So do have a go. I was really touched when my eldest daughter said that after reading my Halloween poem it inspired her to write! She trotted off and wrote several thousand pages of her story! She is also a keen writer in progress and a bookworm/reviewer too!
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Wow hun, the feelings and the pain in this poem are so sad and powerful.
Amazing poem (crying…).
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Awww… Thanks a lot, hun. I’m so glad that all the raw and strong emotions that went into writing this poem were sucesfully delivered. Thanks a lot for reading it, hun. 🙂
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It’s beautifully written hun ❤
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Thanks, dear! 🙂
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Deep pain, so clear, I can see it happening. I send love to you, Heena, and to your brother, too, where ever he is.
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Thanks a lot, JoAnna. I appreciate your kind words but (fortunately for me) this poem is a work of fiction. Still, thanks a lot for your kind words 🙂
Hope you’re having a great day!
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