Derelict – #Blogbattle

BlogBattle is a weekly short story challenge in which participants write short stories using a single word for inspiration. You can visit the BB’s blog to find out more about it: Blogbattle: Inspired To Write.

This week’s word is Derelict.

Derelict

sad-girl-1382940_640

Genre: Dark Fiction

The smell of his sweat repels me. The sweat-soaked hair under his arms makes me want to gag. They touch my cheek even when he doesn’t move. But I can’t let this repulsion show on my face. I have no strength to fight with him anymore tonight.

I love him, I remind myself for the thousandth time tonight. I love him. It’ll all get over soon.

I turn my face slowly and look at his face trying to understand what’s going through his mind. He looks shabby and I miss those days when he used to shave and take bath every day (or every other day at least.) He’s turned into someone else entirely. Someone I don’t know. Someone I don’t want  to know.

He laughs at something making an animal sound that starts from his stomach and vibrates in his throat. Sitting this close to him I can feel it when his laugh rises from his belly and comes out of his mouth like he’s throwing up, spittle flying in the air.

I feel his rough stubble on my forehead and try to wiggle out of his suffocating half-embrace. He looks at me annoyed and tightens his grips. He looks at me for a minute before smirking and turning back to the TV.

I can feel the remains of his stale breath on my face. I exhale deeply and try to calm down my nerves. I love him and deep down somewhere he loves me too. 

I try to console myself, but when I think about what he’s become I can’t stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. And in that moment I hate myself. I begin to loathe what I’ve done, regretting the decision of leaving Ben and Adam for this bastard.

But I will not run away this time because this is what I deserve for leaving my baby and my loving husband behind.

***

Please note: This is a work of fiction. 
Any resemblance to any person or thing is purely coincidental.

35 responses to “Derelict – #Blogbattle”

  1. rosemawrites Avatar

    oh. oh dear! the tension! the agony. the vivid description! and then the twist. Geez, Heena! (standing ovation!) ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Heena Rathore P. Avatar

      Thank ou, Rosema. I’m so glad you think so. Your comment really made me smile and feel better 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. rosemawrites Avatar

        awww. glad to do just that! ❤
        you're sick, dear? ❤

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Heena Rathore P. Avatar

          Not literally, but lately I’ve been suffering from a bout of Writer’s Block. But I’m starting to feel better now 🙂 Thanks! ❤

          Liked by 1 person

          1. rosemawrites Avatar

            Awww. Really? Geez. Come on, writer’s block. Don’t be a kill joy! Let my lovely Heena write! ❤

            Like

            1. Heena Rathore P. Avatar

              Heheh… Aww.w. You’re so sweet, Rosema. I guess now i’ll be able to defeat Writer’s Block for sure 😉
              Thanks a ton! ❤

              Like

  2. Blog Battle 70 “Derelict” Entries & Voting | BlogBattle Avatar

    […] Derelict (Dark Fic) by Heena Rathore P. […]

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Erika Kind Avatar

    My heart skipped a beat when I came to the last two paragraphs…. no words but only: fantastically written, Heena! You met us in the heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Heena Rathore P. Avatar

      Thanks a lot, Erika. I’m really glad you liked it 🙂
      It’s been a long time since I’ve written something so short. I wasn’t entirely sure about this one, but now I’m feeling better about it 🙂
      Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Erika Kind Avatar

        It was an amazing read and believe me… it made me thing!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Heena Rathore P. Avatar

          Thanks you, again, Erika ❤

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Galit G. Balli Avatar

    Wow hun, I love it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Heena Rathore P. Avatar

      Thanks, sweetz! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. AmyRose🌹 Avatar

    Exceptionally written! Powerful emotions that only a woman could write. Brava, Heena! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. bloggeray Avatar

    A fine story, weaving in and out of the mind of the protagonist. And you again managed to keep me hooked. The reveal was great. 👌

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Heena Rathore P. Avatar

      Thanks. I had my doubts about this at first mainly because it was so short, but I’ve realised that sometimes less is more and leaving stuff for imagination serves the purpose perfectly.
      Thanks for reading and for your kind words. Appreciate it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. bloggeray Avatar

        A really short story is definitely tough to do. But maybe that’s the beauty of the craft.
        Pleasure reading this. Have a great day.😊

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Heena Rathore P. Avatar

          Agreed!
          And you too have a great day! 🙂

          Like

  7. Vocal Pendulum Avatar

    Good one Heena! It was sheere genius, the way a short collection of words bring about magic…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Heena Rathore P. Avatar

      Thanks a lot, Clare! Glad you think so 😀 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  8. mihrank Avatar

    the art of your precise method of writing, the agony turns your blog into a book with a movie…incredible…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Heena Rathore P. Avatar

      Thanks a lot, Mihran, for all your kind words. Appreciate it 🙂

      Like

  9. phoenixgrey85 Avatar
    phoenixgrey85

    I could feel her emotion, I was there with her. That was really well written. You’ve told a whole story in such a small amount of words. Well done. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Heena Rathore P. Avatar

      Thank you, Phoenix. As I’ve been telling everyone, I was a little skeptical about this one, but seeing that everyone actually liked it, I’m feeling a lot better that I didn’t discard it. 🙂
      Glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. phoenixgrey85 Avatar
        phoenixgrey85

        I’m glad you didn’t discard it either. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Rachael Ritchey Avatar

    So harsh and achingly beautiful ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Heena Rathore P. Avatar

      Thanks, Rachael! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Blog Battle 72 “Vampire” Entries & Voting | BlogBattle Avatar

    […] 70’s “Derelict” Winner is Derelict (Dark Fic) by Heena Rathore P!  🙂 Please vote for “Sacrilege” and I’ll post the winner […]

    Liked by 1 person

  12. zumpoems Avatar

    So terribly sad. Good choice of present tense to emphasize the brutal present chosen.

    Liked by 1 person

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